My dog Tico is an environmentalist. A canine compooster and Johnny Apple-Pee. He turns garbage into fertilizer and spreads it throughout the city’s flower boxes, and he regularly dispenses reclaimed water to DC’s thirsty plants. Last month he initiated a pilot program to deal with the city’s surplus bird problem. He chomped an excess wren from the air and within five hours converted it to fertilizer. Tico wants to expand this program to squirrels and vermin in general, but so far my leash restrains his enthusiasm.
Tico meticulously agonizes over which bush to water or what grass to fertilize. The zeal with which he pisses on my neighbor’s azaleas or poops on the Albanian Embassy nearly bursts my chest with pride. But the District of Columbia can’t stand his philanthropy. The city council, with help from neighborhood associations, does all it can to pass laws to stop his public composting. As if the DC government wasn't corrupt enough, now it's in league with the chemical fertilizer companies that don't want to compete with a nation of freely defecating dogs.
I weep for my planet. My heart breaks every time I pick up one of Tico’s steamy chuds.
[Not mine, found it on a really awesome blog I follow: http://brettcottrell.blogspot.com/2011/07/inconvenient-poop.html ]